In 2010 Jennifer Aniston claimed women needn’t “fiddle with a man” to have a child. This may strike you as an isolated case of stupidity, but Aniston’s willingness to put it out there speaks volumes about modern cultural attitudes. No actress would have said such a thing in the 70s, 80s, or even early 90s.
Fortunately, most women come to the realization that they do, in fact, need a man—at least if they want a family.
Financial independence is a great thing, but you can’t take your paycheck to bed with you. And there’s nothing empowering about being beholden to an employer when what you really want is to have a baby. That’s dependency of a different sort.
This is the conclusion to which most women have come. Research shows that what women want more than anything else is not to work full-time and year-round but to live balanced lives.
‘Round and ’round we go, asking how women can gain more control over their lives… The answer is obvious. Lean on your husband.
That women prefer part-time work is simply irrefutable… Women as a whole (the Sheryl Sandbergs notwithstanding) want multifaceted lives. They want balance.
And there’s only one way to get it: rely on a man’s more linear career goals. Unlike women, a man’s identity is inextricably linked to his paycheck. That’s how most men feel a sense of purpose. Indeed, research shows men see it as their duty to support their families even when their wives make as much money (or more) as they do!
Perhaps that’s because men can’t produce life the way women can—let’s face it: those are some serious shoes to fill—but they can produce the means to make a child’s life secure. As a nation, we dismiss this integral part of masculinity. But that doesn’t make it any less true.
By Suzanne Venker, the founder of Women for Men (WFM)
, a news and opinion website committed to improving gender relations and to providing much-needed support for the American male.