I hate the way my heart jumped when your name popped up on my phone “Hey how are you?”...

I hate the way my heart jumped when your name popped up on my phone
“Hey how are you?”
(It sounds like such an innocent question.)
Shitty, how do you think I’ve been?
Do you know how much pain you’ve caused me?
If you did, would you even care?
Were you as miserable as I was this week?
Do you miss me?
Do you regret it?
So many things I can’t ask you
The answers will only be ‘No.’
I guess I’ll to settle for
“I’m doing well, how are you?”